You wanna pair with common people?

Dedicated to people that haven’t had the chance to do agile methods:

She came from Greece. She had a thirst for knowledge.
She studied software at Imperial College.
That’s where I–caught her eye.
She told me that her dad did OO.
I said, in that case I’ll have a rum and Coca-Cola.
She said fine, and in thirty seconds time she said…
I wanna code like common people.
I wanna code whatever common people do.
I wanna pair with common people.
I wanna pair with common people like you.
Well, what else could I do? I said, I’ll see what we can goto!

I took her to an IT department.
I don’t know why, but I had to start it somewhere.
So it started there!
I said, pretend you’ll use VB
She just laughed and said, oh, you’re so funny!
I said, yeah? Well I can’t see anyone else smiling in here!
Are you sure you want to work like common people?
You want to hack what common people do with C?
You want to work with common people?
You want to work with common people in ASP?
But she didn’t understand…

…she just smiled and held my hands!
Run around contractor code!
Your app just fails to load!
Bogged down in a software tool,
Pretend you never went to school.
But still you’ll never get it right.
Still at your desk tonight,
Tracing out another method call,
If you call your dad he’d stop it all.

You’ll never live like common people!
You’ll never do whatever common people do!
You’ll never fail like common people!
You’ll never watch your code blow up on you,
and type and hack and stew!
Because you don’t know what to do!

Pronounce the line “You want to work with common people in ASP?” with the same air of astonishment that William Shatner used in his recitation of “Common People”.

Remember that I made this, and you saw it here first!